words that wouldn't matter

days that aren't real holidays have never made sense to me.
here's to another year of pointless solitude.
see you in my mind.

words for the decade

i haven't got any great advice
maybe as more decades go by
we will understand
with time
always time
on my mind
(what a pity that i have to steal lyrics
from song)
but for now
we live
we breathe
we exist
we are

and we keep on.

things will heal
things will fall where they need
things will be
and we will let them
no matter how much it hurts
we will let them

words for a decade
thoughts for a lifetime
falling endlessly
always staying
right where they should(n't) be

sinful words

everyone keeps looking at me
like they know
something
and i laugh to myself
thinking
what a fun game
i'm playing
because nobody can see
the sin that is now
dripping from my lips
because nobody can hear
how i screamed your name
only 20 minutes ago or more
because nobody will get
why it is i do the things i do
to you
because i want to (you)
even if it means
you don't want me (see?)
it's my own little sinful pun
that i revel in
leaving you wondering
if it really happened at all

words that spin

wheels
a spinning sensation
i imagine
as i stare
blankly
at the ceiling
constantly
falling into
oblivion
as i sit at the
edge
of my bed
grasping
gasping
for thoughts
trespassing
nothing but the
ceiling's
blank stare
thrown back in my
face
quiet mocking
laughter
is all that's
there

middle words

It's Loren.
And I love it...

...just so you know, my dear.

a play on words

alertly abstract
walking conundrum
armed with words
as a defense
from her own
contradiction
contemplate this
conception of a
cataclysmic connection
personifications
perfected
alliterations
aligned
somewhere in her
mind
trying to
find
the meaning
behind this banter
disguised as wit
cleverness
cleverly concealed
from her world
from herself
a Cartesian moment
fit for a king
a queen
a jester
using words as
fool's gold
eyes wide
bait beckoning
harassing
an endless fight
for some right
to belong to her
no puns
or plays
no matter how
cleverly concealed
can conceal her
now

waste of words

Doc, what would you say if I told you I still love him and he still loves me?

I shake my head, knowing full well she can't exactly see me through the computer. So at least I'm safe for now. Needless to say by this point I expect questions like this from her.

Weak, I think.

Well, I would ask first if you're sure, because I think he's lying to you, I say.

After all, it's what he's good at - the lying. The cheating. The "oh-baby-I-love-you-come-back-to-me's". Typical. How very typical.

I'm sorry, I tell her, You know how I feel about boys. I'm cynical. They can't be trusted, especially weeny ass ones who need to grow a pair.

God, I knew I had you for a reason, she says.

My thoughts intertwine. I'm distracted momentarily. Damn computer. I snap back.

Well, I think he smells. That's what I think. Sorry, mama, but you can do better.

I know what you'll say to that. You always say it - the same cookie cutter line over and over again. Who are you trying to fool? But this time...you don't. I didn't expect this next.

You will find yourself in a situation one day, Doc, where you are at the other end of the spectrum... Go easier on yourself then for me, okay? He has a lot to prove. That's all I'm gonna say...for now.

For some reason I just can't understand why you say the things you say to me. Something in me wants to slap some sense into you. Something in me wants to snap.

Well that he does...but mom, he's a boy. He's an immature teenager trapped in a 40 year old's body and he ain't gonna change.

Funny how it works, isn't it? You see...I've actually been saving that line for YOU. Don't you get it?

Doubt it all you want, but boys or in any relationship you have love, she says. Just remember what I said, deal?

He ain't gonna change, mama...

And neither are you...

...but okay. Deal.